Surround Sound

To audio enthusiasts, this term refers to a technique for enriching the fidelity and depth of sound reproduction through the use of multiple audio channels from speakers that surround the listener. 

I am not into sounds. A hearing impaired senior omits audio from her daily repertoire. But sounds have forced their way into my ears—everyday, except Sunday, since repairs/renovations of our 48-year-old house started in June. This is my version of surround sound. 

Imagine a cacophony of different grating sounds from power tools such as drills, saws, routers, nail guns, air compressors, planers, sanders, grinders, and scrapers!

The mess does not affect me as much as the sounds do. I could always ignore, skip, jump, walk on and around them.

But the surround sounds? Well, I guess that’s why they are called such.  They besiege, encircle, assail, and hem your ears in. 

The good news is, there will be an end to it all. The contractor promised  “Before Christmas,” when grace was birthed for man and therefore celebrated. What’s two more months of surround sound?  

Acronyms: IMHO

In My Humble (and Honest) Opinion, acronyms do not speed up communication among those who do not understand them. On the contrary, they hinder communication by causing confusion and excluding people unfamiliar with the terms. Their overall effect is a mixed bag.  

Before you think I am ranting, let me explain where I am coming from.

One, in our family business, a Medical Transcription Training School, it is a strict rule that the letters in an acronym need to be spelled out. Medical transcriptions are documents to be read by various sectors in society and therefore, they should be crystal clear, leaving no doubt in the reader’s mind about their meaning. 

Two, I worked for two decades in an adveretising agency. Clarity of message was our core goal,  In 30 seconds or less, the audience must know what exactly were we selling in concrete words. 

Three, as an author, I need to spell out the big idea creatively but clearly. Acronyms have to be explained, especially because there is a wave of internet-born acronyms—created by Gen Z’s (born 1997–2012)—like OTOH, GOAT, OTW, IICYMI, etc.These are a form of "in-group" communication that help sustain online communities, indicating a shared culture and identity. 

In sum, clarity is key in communication. 

People like me and my senior friends, who are technologically challenged and therefore not part of a specific subculture or online community, do not understand the acronyms, causing barriers in professional or inter-generational conversations.

While acronyms save time for the person typing, they require the reader to invest extra mental energy to decipher the meaning. Goodbye clarity.  

Again, IMHO, to ensure that acronyms help rather than hinder communication, context and audience are crucial. To those using acronyms, if I may, please make sure your reader is familiar with them, or use them sparingly. 

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6 NIV 

Have You been to Paradise?

I have—a few times—in the company of BFFs. This paradise is in the middle of nowhere, somewhere out there.  But it’s close enough to everywhere. 

It’s aptly called Paradiso, the Italian word for paradise or heaven, originating from ancient Greek that means a place of great beauty, peace, and joy. 

It is owned by a former colleague, who, after we parted ways, went on to head more organizations and made them grow. Yes, he has a green thumb—skill in making anything he lays his hands on to flourish. 

We fondly call him BoyP. He has recently decided to leave the rat race and concentrate on his bonsai hobby in a place he set up just for this purpose. And what a hobby it is! 

His exquisite bonsai collection is strewn all over Paradiso, on which sits a huge manor, a swimming pool, a life-size cauldron, plus all other amenities one can find in plush resorts, except that this paradise is warmer, more personal, and allows for intimate fellowships with friends now separated by time and space.  

Our most recent trip to Paradiso was another grace-filled day. It was organized by another former colleague, Bing, who had wanted long-time, scattered friends to re-connect, meet again, bond again, catch up, and reminisce about those precious ancient days, even if it was just for a few hours. 

Paradiso, a place of great beauty, peace, and joy, more than lived up to its name all over again.  

 

A Small-Large Family

Ours is a very small family: Three sons. 

Only son #2 is married and added two to our small number: a daughter-in-love and one grandson. But they live abroad. Now with Tony no longer in the count, our unit has become even smaller. 

To celebrate a milestone, son#2 and his family never fail to send us party food. This year, on son #3’s birthday, all three of us (son#1 and son#3) shared the yum. That is now our new version of celebration, which has nothing to do with numbers.  Special days are blessings from above and so we thank the giver of grace who keeps us grounded.  

Ours is a very large family: A church-full of fellow believers, with whom we share our Sundays and other days of the week to pray and study the Word. There, I have dozens and dozens of nieces and nephews, rooms full of grandkids, who "mano" every time they see me. 

On son #3’s birthday, he was greeted by about 300+ of all church mates—of all ages. What a celebration it was! 

He was gifted with a cake, while the crowd sang the birthday song before he blew the candles. Then they flooded him with words of joy, tributes they are called.  I was asked by our pastor to say my piece before he led the prayer for my youngest son, now the chairman of the church board, but who was not even an idea when my family became a member of this faithful church—now celebrating its 50th year.  

All of these are recorded on videos and in my heart and mind (for as long as the Lord allows it to hold them). 

For now, I have these two photos to keep and treasure. 

A small-large family is more than enough reason to keep celebrating life.  

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."  Psalm 16:11 ESV 

Spot and Stop a Bully

Bullying as a form of childhood aggression is as old as the hills. However, with technology (the Net, social media, and smartphones), it has birthed a new, 24/7, fiercer version: 

Cyberbullying. Its reach and anonymity have increased in alarming numbers.  

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (US), every five (19.2%) students report being bullied. 

If you think that number is huge, let’s look at the Philippines’.  Over 40% of learners aged 13-17 report being bullied in a year.  An OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) research found that twice as many students in the Philippines were bullied compared to the global average. 

In its 2022 report, 43% of girls and 53% of boys experienced bullying. Schools in Manila saw a 10% increase in bullying during the 2024/2025 academic year. 

The encouraging news is that the government (PNP, DSWD. DILG) and NGOs (Save the Children Philippines) have implemented programs in addressing the problem. Our very own Barangay has been conducting lectures among educators and parents on how to spot and stop bullies.   

One of the main reasons, as found in research, why kids bully is difficult home life (dysfunctional family environments, parental neglect, or exposure to conflict at home.)  

To believers in Biblical principles, God’s Words serve as core values in building a happy home—parents modeling Christ-like character for the children. 

That’s why in the “Happy Home” series, “Bully versus Bully” (published by Hiyas of OMFLit and illustrated by Leo Kempis Ang), a happy home life is demonstrated to help prevent bullying. 

Told in simple and lighthearted language, the book is about a happy and supportive home environment. By grace, it will help lower the risk of children becoming involved in bullying as perpetrators. 

 

“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs 24:3-4 

Prayer Circle

In our Kakabsat (siblings) group chat, we crack jokes, upload memes, celebrate birthdays and other special events, make announcements, but best of all—as believers in the saving grace of Jesus—we unite in a prayer circle.

Circle then, in this sense, is not a shape. We are all miles away from each other, but  by coming together in prayer, we stay connected emotionally and spiritually. In a “circle,” my faith is strengthened, providing comfort in difficult times (the hardest of which was Tony’s exit from my everyday life). It also creates a shared sense of purpose, such as praying for healing.

What a blessing that in church, I am able to be in an actual prayer circle with faith sisters. Before or after our women’s Sunday School, which I have been facilitating for the past five years, we join hands and form a circle. After singing a worship song, we bow our heads in thanksgiving for the fount of grace that flows night and day in our individual and collective enclaves. 

"I  have decided to follow Jesus;no turning back . . ."

For me, a circle of praying believers is symbolic of unity and divine connection.  It creates a sacred, shared space for worship. A circle, with no beginning or end, also keeps us focused on God’s endless love.  

Creative Teaching

Today, more than ever, teachers need to be creative in the classroom to constantly engage our students. Our foe, called digital distraction, is too powerful and alluring. 

There are many seminars on how to teach creatively, but my writing hours always took precedence over any event. There was that one time, however. when a brief lull, just waiting for the galley proof of my book for final proofreading, allowed me to attend one online. 

My mind wandered and got lost. 

Our facilitator gave us links to ready-made educational games and fun quizzes. Technology, as I’ve often written about, is not my idea of creativity. I believed then as I do now, that creativity is the ability to generate new ideas, solve problems, or create something new using human imagination, emotion, and experience, independent of digital tools.

My friend Steph from Cebu was on the same page! She invited me to  facilitate a creative-teaching seminar among master’s students in a theological college. “Please share your Chongisms to help them write, as a tool for teaching creatively.  

My Chongisms have nothing to do with technology. I wrote them before AI became a trend.   

She unintentionally fanned my excitement with, “They are all church workers; some of them are pastors. During the event, half of the attendees will be onsite and the other half, online.” 

D-day (celebration of World Teachers’ Day) came and I shared with them how I write and how I engage my students through stories. “All lectures can be woven into relatable stories that teachers can write themselves—based on their experience or any interesting life snippet that drives home the lesson.” 

"In the process, with the Lord’s unending grace, teachers become creative writers and storytellers—more powerful than our digital-distraction foe." 

It is my prayer that one day, those stories to be written by these teachers will be published to benefit more students elsewhere.   

Aimless Malling

Up until January this year (2025), I was a mall rat and a shop habitue. I had been a willing victim of the word  “SALE.”  I’d be so proud and happy for having bought items at a huge discount, symptoms of an impulse shopper. 

Tony would indulge me. With a book, he’d wait for this wandering maller in a coffee shop or his favorite restaurant, where we would meet for lunch or snacks.  

One call from a friend, asking if I wanted to visit a new shop, was enough to get me scurrying to our meeting place. 

After we bade Tony goodbye, the mall said goodbye to me, too. I have turned down every invite from friends for lunch or coffee. What has happened to my insatiable desire for malling? 

“It’ll all come back; give it six months,” one of my BFFs comforted me.  

It’s been ten months, and I still have zero interest in visiting the mall.  

But I had to. 

Our house has been undergoing major repairs. The dust, construction debris like paint, wood, and concrete have caused terrible colds and cough that made me run to my doctor. While writing down his prescription, he warned me, “Stay away from irritants in the air like dust.”      

So I went to the mall to kill six hours. In days of old, that would be utopia. But this time, it was torture. I spent one hour just walking around, passing from store to store, another hour in a coffee shop, and another hour in a resto. My crossword puzzles helped solve the boredom.     

How I spent the rest of the hours was a blur. 

Aimless malling it was. On the bright side, I saved money from unplanned purchases and was chastised by these vases . . .  

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6: 19-21 ESV)  

Oh, to be a Teacher Today!

World Teachers' Day was celebrated worldwide on 5 October. But since I only teach for two hours on Mondays, I wasn’t in school that day. Yet the students made up for it by giving me the same nutritious gift they gave all the others on the actual day. 

If you are a teacher, you must already know why there is such a day. To non-teachers, here’s a brief look-back: 

Established by UNESCO in 1994, it celebrates the anniversary of the October 5, 1966 adoption of the ILO/UNESCO recommendation concerning the status of teachers. This document set benchmarks for the rights, responsibilities, and working conditions of teachers globally.  

I have been a part-time college teacher, on and off, since I left the workplace in the year 2000. That’s how long I have been enjoying the grace of World Teachers’ Day year after year. 

I spent most of my time during the pandemic to write about teachers in my book “The Teacher in Me.” And looking back, I have made a teacher the main character in four out of 16 books in the “Oh, Mateo” series. 

I’ve also been tasked to help equip would-be teachers in church through seminars/workshops. That’s why I believe that teaching is one of the most noble professions, beginning with the example set by Jesus. 

Caveat. 

Reared in an era without technology, I break in cold sweat when it becomes a requirement in classrooms. To the rescue, an IT promptly comes, showing me how it’s done, which embarrasses me no end. Every Monday, he comes and I still don’t get it.

I suspect I am no longer in sync with my students. They are all techies (the very few who love books read them online), with a different mindset from my students through the years. 

Now they have tools for quick fixes (AI), requiring no critical thinking or painstaking review of good-writing principles. They are leery of a teacher’s stock knowledge gained from the school of hard knocks and experience.   

Could this be my last World Teachers’ Day?   

Love Your Name

 “I hate my name!” exclaimed a five-year-old boy when I asked him to write it down on a piece of paper.

“Okay, but I need to know how you spell it,” I grinned. “I don’t want to make a mistake. Those who will read it might think this book belongs to someone else.”  (I always write the book owner’s name during book-signing events.)

He then wrote his name with much effort: Ezekiel. 

“What a lovely name! It comes from the Bible,” I said, writing it on his book. “Do you know what Ezekiel means?”

He shook his head.

“Ask your mom and dad why they chose it for you.”   

He nodded. I would have wanted to talk to Ezekiel about the wonders of his name but the next kid in line was getting impatient.

“My name is Carla!” she said.

“Hi! Is that spelled with a ‘K’ or a ‘C’?”

There are as many names as there are stars in the sky. Sometimes, even if two names are homophones, they are spelled differently. Why is that? 

Being a mother, I think I know why.

Before a baby is born, parents take a lot of effort in choosing their son’s or daughter’s name. We consider many possibilities: names of grandparents, famous people, close friends, Bible heroes, etc.  

Some parents want unique names. That’s why they change the spelling of popular names. Sometimes they add a vowel or a consonant.

There’s this little boy whose name is pronounced David, but is spelled “Dheyvhid.” No wonder kids like Ezekiel say, “I hate my name!” 

In the Bible, God our Father, did some naming Himself.

Abram was renamed Abraham—meaning, father of many. At that time, Abram wasn’t a father of anyone.  God changed Abram’s name as a sign of His promise that Abraham would be the father of many nations.

Then there’s Abraham’s wife, Sarai. God changed it to Sarah, which means my princess or mother of nations. Sarah was already very, very old and she thought she would no longer have a baby. But God had plans. 

God changed Simon’s name to Peter. It means rock. On his own, Peter was not a rock. He kept changing his mind, depending on situations. With the Holy Spirit, however, Peter became a stable rock of the church.

Plus more. 

Just as God chose names for His people, Ezekiel’s parents spent time choosing his name—and someday, when Ezekiel is older, I am sure they will tell him the love story behind it.   

The Long, Long Saga

Longlong has been a long-time friend and used to be a peer in the workplace for years. An excellent art director, he rendered the layout and images of one of my books, gratis et amore.    

His jokes never failed to make me LOL. But one of my favorites was when he would introduce his long, complicated name (I won’t mention it here for privacy) with his punchline, “Call me Longlong for short.” 

That was in my long list of ideas for a book. And one grace day, voila! It all came together. I made it my handle in "Ready, Set, Focus" (published by CSM), a devotional for children, whose lack of focus is a lament of many teachers. 

After the book was launched at the MIBF, I surprised him and his wife with a copy via courier. His reply was this! LOL,

One of the questions I am often asked in my book talks is, “Where do you get your ideas?” 

My answer may seem like a cop-out, “Everywhere.” 

But, really, they’re all there, wherever you may be, “Look at the germ in non-moving and moving creation with eagle eyes, jot them down in a notebook or park them in your head.” 

To Longlong: a super loooong thank you.  

Read, yes! Understand, no?

That’s basically what many teachers in grade school say about their students. That’s also the result of a PSA (Philippine Statistics Authority) research among schoolchildren.  

Comprehension is the problem: no active engagement, no critical thinking, and no interpretation of whatever they are able to read. Sure, they could see and read words, but they cannot grasp their meaning, purpose, or implications.  

This alarming situation prompted one of our church members, Deo (a teacher), to draw up a Literacy Program in one underprivileged community with his wife, Yamie. They were immediately joined by other volunteers to lead 15 children into comprehending the words they read. The project became two-fold!   

While the children were being tutored in our church's classrooms, their parents were invited into a fellowship to meet the Lord. 

The results were amazing! Not only could the children begin to understand what they were reading, their parents started attending our Sunday worship and other church activities, including Sunday school!  

The culmination program came after the 6th week, when the organizers invited me to be the speaker. As I am wont to do during events such as this, I do not deliver a speech, I tell a story. 

I chose “The White Shoes,” a story about treasuring and thanking God for every blessing, big or small. Each kid received a copy as a graduation present.   

The success of this first Literacy Program has inspired the volunteers to make it a continuing project, as a part of our church's 50th anniversary celebration--one community at a time. The Lord's grace never ceases to open doors. 

 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 NIV    

May All Who Come Behind Us

That phrase is the chorus of the hymn "Find Us Faithful," written in 1987 by Jon Mohr, with music arranged by Steve Green. It’s pretty new for me, compared to the hymns written before the 1900s that I hum daily to keep me going. 

But it never fails to touch my core whenever we sing it in church.  It is based on Hebrews 12:1-2, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Like Mohr, I pray that my life would serve as a faithful legacy for future generations to follow. 

Legacy . . . is something I think about often these days. And I am grateful that as part of our church’s 50th celebration, the next generation has decided on installing a LEGACY WALL: how the Lord used His people to plant His church in our then new village, and how faithfully He has guided all to make it fruitful through five decades.   

These photos document the unveiling of this wall, with the six remaining pioneers cutting the ribbon.  On both sides (far left and far right) are of the second generation, whose hands now hold the mantle of leadership. 

I have no doubt—the way the church has been alive and alert with younger members at the helm—that when the Lord takes the six remnants home, the next generations (bottom photo) will step up beyond 50 years.   

This LEGACY WALL serves as a nudge of grace. 

  

When Seniors Dance

That blog title should really be.”When Seniors Attempt, Strive, Try, Struggle, Venture, Undertake, and Exert Remaining Effort to Dance.” But that would be too long—as long as the hours it took to get every step right.  

Still, we didn’t get it right. Not even if we kept following the vocal instructions and physical movements of our non-senior choreographer (center). These photos speak the truth. 

But the applause after the dance number was deafening and as long as the what-should-have-been the blog title.  

It’s our church's golden anniversary. And we’d do anything to honor the God Who has been faithful for 50 years, His grace keeping us seniors strong and mobile to celebrate it. 

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiaah 46:4 NIV   

Serves You Right: Schadenfreude

We have an expression in Filipino that gloats over another person’s misfortune, “Buti nga sa yo” (literal translation: serves you right). 

What happened to Mr. Ramon, a haughty, arrogant man, dramatizes this. He was rude to people below his status. He wore only designer clothes and shoes. His car: Mercedes Benz, no less. 

On his way to a client call one afternoon, his car rammed into another car. In his Armani suit, he got down and lamented his plight. His office mates, who were in a separate cab, saw Mr. Ramon’s predicament. Instead of helping him, they all laughed and exchanged high fives, “Buti nga sa yo.”

 

There is a German word that accurately describes the group’s attitude, Schadenfreude (meaning, damage-joy).  It captures that satisfied feeling we get when someone, who has repeatedly wronged or belittled us, runs into trouble.  

In 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 (NLT), Apostle Paul could have reacted with Schadenfreude when a member of the church, who had committed a grievous sin, was disciplined and punished by the church members. But his attitude baffled the people. He said that the man had already repented and that disciplining him was punishment enough. 

He encouraged them instead: “. . . it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him . . . when you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. . . “  

Paul’s message to all followers of Jesus: we should not gloat over the misfortune of those who oppose us. In fact, in a message by Pastor Moe three Sundays ago, he encouraged us to do the opposite to the unlovable.  One of the many verses he quoted was Romans 12:14, "Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them."  

The next verse can make any believer quiver: |If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? (1 John 4:20)

Truth to tell, it is extremnely difficult not to revel in Schadenfreude. But it is our (those of us who have been born again and now living under the saving grace of Christ) mandate to keep trying . . . and trying.  

Queuing for a Signature and a Selfie

First, the good news.  

The huge, noisy crowd before the pandemic at the Manila International Book Fair (MIBF) is back! I could hardly navigate my way to the CSM booth where I launched my new book, a devoseries titled “Ready, Set, Focus!” I was pushed in so many directions by the excited throng of book enthusiasts. 

Second, the not-so-good news. 

The looooong queues for signature and selfie were toward celebrities (movie and TV stars) and authors of romance novels written in either Tagalog or Taglish. These demonstrate where reading in the Philippines is going. 

I am neither a celebrity nor an author of romance books, so I sign books for those who value reading about grace, which is where I am in writing for children and adults. 

On the other hand, this is good news, a very good news. As we called it in advertising: niche market. Readers queue for my books, not for me. This is a concrete reminder that writing about values is not about fame or fortune. 

I am grateful for the grace every stroke of a pen brings--writing a short message on the blessings that come with every book, every book fair--for every reader.  

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice"  Philippians 4:4  

Closet Voyage

Try opening one of your closets. (If you are a male reading this, I mean your wife’s closet.) What do you see?  

My aunt, a frugal Ilocana, advised me one day, “If you have not worn or used something for two years, you will never wear or use it again. So give it away to someone who needs it.”  She said that when she heard me gushing over a mall where all goods go on sale every quarter.  

Those were grace words I never took seriously till I left the corporate world and found myself at home more often than in malls that go on sale. And then came the pandemic, which changed my life thereafter! 

And so when I opened one closet one day, my vision suddenly cleared and beheld all the things I had not used/worn in two years.  

I opened another closet, and there they were! I pulled them out (not that easily; some I thought I could still wear after losing the weight I gained during the Covid-19 lockdowns) and donated them to our church’s rummage sale or to victims of calamity—whichever was more urgent at the moment.  

May I now invite you to go on a closet voyage (unless you’ve beaten me to the draw)? You’ll find “trash” that were once “treasures” and you’ll be surprised at how much/many you want to give away. 

Your closet will thank you for the extra breathing space. And you will understand, as I now do, what Paul meant when he enjoined the Philippians (chapter 4:11-12 NLT), “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything . . .” 

To the men (including Tony beloved), here’s a gentle nudge. Ask yourself silently: How can I share with others and say bon voyage to what I have found in my wife’s closets?    

Note: This was written during the pandemic, when Tony was constantly teasing me about my bursting closets. But by fluke or absent-mindedness, this post was never uploaded. I am now going through the same closet voyage while our house is being repaired. Suddenly, I miss Tony's ribbing.   

Signing, Not Blogging

The Manila Internatonal Book Fair (MIBF) is in full swing. It's the third day, and if I don't go to the happiest place on earth, I will miss the books I had wanted to browse and buy. 

Most importantly, I need to see and touch my new book, "Ready,  Set, Go!" (published CSM and  illustrated by Urli Pagaduan) After my editor sent the last page of the manuscript months ago, I have been holding my breath, impatiently waiting to see and touch the actual book. 

Finally! Today, in a few hours, I will be at MIBF to hobnob with book afficionados and sign my books for readers. I already missed many of them. This photo was sent to me on Day1. 

I am looking forward to also meeting new friends and long-time buddies, whom I only chat with on social media. (Blogging will definitely come again soon.)  

Grace overload!   

Benefit of the Doubt

I used to hear this conversation (argument) between my sons and their father.  Whenever Tony gave street children food or treated them to snacks or meals, the debate ensued.  

“Papa, you are encouraging begging!” 

“I am not giving them money, I am simply feeding these poor, hungry children.” 

“But they’ll grow up thinking begging is the way to live. They will lose their drive to work hard for the things they need,” sons would stress. “Haven’t you read the government’s warning that these kids are controlled by syndicates?” 

“I give them the benefit of the doubt,” Tony would reply gently. To me he confided, "I simply love doing it." 

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is to believe something good about him/her—rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of believing either. 

“You are being too kind!” sons would insist.   

Since Tony left us for home, these arguments are no more. And so I ask, is there such a thing as being too kind? 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NLT) says, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” 

How then can we know if our heart and acts of kindness are what God means in the above verses? 

We can go to Him in prayer and ask for His grace of discernment, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Psalm 139:23-24) 

God encourages us to be kind to one another, even enemies. 

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32) 

My Dad’s Tree

This lomboy (duhat in Filipino; Java Plum in English) tree standing tall at the corner of two roads in our village is 48 years old. It was planted by my late dad. Behind it is our home which is just as old.  

Dad, the original plantito--long before the term was invented--planted many kinds of trees in our yard immediately after we moved in. He and mom lived in the province, but he came to visit us to work the ground. Unfortunately, we had to cut the trees down when we had a house extension for three growing sons. 

The only tree left is the lomboy because it is farthest from the house and didn’t interfere with the construction.  

Every year, this tree generously bears fruits. Because it has grown so tall, Mother Teresa had painstakingly constructed a fruit picker made of a long wooden pole. During the tree's peak season, she would serve us and our neighbors a bowl of lomboy—washed, sprinkled with salt, and gently shaken in  a covered bowl for a few minutes until the lomboy softens and the salt enhances its natural sweetness. Yum! 

Caution: lomboy leaves your lips and tongue blue, as though you’re suffering from cyanosis or lack of oxygen.  

Forty eight years later, today, our aged house is being renovated because it is falling apart. All the plants in the garden have disappeared from sight because they’re hidden by heaps upon heaps of construction materials.  

But the lomboy tree? 

It is far too tall, far too strong, and far too far away to be affected by it all. It needs to be pruned now and then because its branches get in the way of  electric wires, but Dad’s tree has set its place in the sun. 

From our terrace, Tony and I would often talk about Lolo Mate's tree, how it stood the test of time. With Tony gone, I view it still, but without words. So I decided to outdo words this morning by clicking my camera and let the photo above speak for itself. 

Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a figure of speech defined as a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression; it is a taunt. They are words that mean the opposite of what they say, intended to humor or to hurt. 

It usually works when words are spoken, because they can be said with the proper voice inflection (derisive) and facial expression (dismissive).

 

When read, even if it is the opposite of the truth, it can be taken literally. However, if it is said orally with a sneer, then the sarcasm is clear. 

Sarcastic comments populate social media today. And they are often misunderstood.  If the reader does not know the writer’s political view, he could misinterpret it to mean the opposite. 

One such sarcasm was posted by a human rights advocate on socmed, “Let’s kill everyone who disagrees with the administration.” 

Immediately, he got responses like, “Now you’re talking!” “Finally you saw the light.” “Yes, the opposition should be massacred.”

She tried to explain, “Hey, I was being sarcastic. My words meant the opposite!” Too late, many thought otherwise. 

Huh?

We all know the damage words can do, yet we spew them carelessly in anger.  Someone said, “Words are stones, and we are nothing but stone throwers with each word we speak.” Words of beauty are grace, they are treasured, but words of pain are thrown away. 

Powerful words jump off the pages of the Bible. Let’s mine the book of Proverbs in choosing the right words to use:    

“With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous." (Proverbs 11:9 NLT)

“Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4) 

“Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.” (Proverbs 18:20)

Sarcasm. Must we use it? 

Photo credit 

Do-Gooders

Have you been duped by unscrupulous people because you were too trusting? 

Sallie was in the mall, and had just shopped for her upcoming travel to the US to visit her granddaughter. With several shopping bags, plus her own bulky purse, she had a hard time carrying them all. An angel-looking, well-dressed young man approached her and said politely, “Let me help you, Ma’am.” 

Oooh, a gentleman, Sallie thought. “Thank you. Yes, please help me carry these to my car over there.” 

And so the young man helped her stow her bags inside the car. Sallie rummaged through her purse for some change to give the young man as tip. When she looked up, he was gone. Now at home, she realized that she only had five bags instead of seven. She had been robbed! 

Remember the “tanim-bala” (planting a bullet in your bag) issue at the airport a few years back? Do-gooders with friendly smiles offered unsuspecting passengers help with their heavy luggage. Before these passengers could blink, the airport authorities found a bullet or two in their suitcases. Although innocent, the victims refused to go through the lengthy investigation that would delay their trip. So they paid the authorities grease money to let them go. 

Well-dressed do-gooders pounce on people anywhere. Beneath their innocent smiles lurks a dark intent. 

So as not to fall prey to these predators, and not be afraid of being conned or robbed unwittingly, let’s seek counsel from God’s Word. “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105 NLT)

His protective grace ensures our safety.    

“. . . the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom . . .” (2 Timothy 4:18)  

Fewer and Fewer

Meet-ups with friends used to be frequent. We’d find all excuses to get together. But these days, they have become fewer and fewer.  

The pandemic is, I guess, the first culprit. It turned us into hermits for three long years. And so we lost our bearings. From there, age crept in with workplace retirement. 

Get-togethers have ceased to be spontaneous. They are now planned months in advance and then cancelled at the last minute.   

But there was this one time that miraculously pushed through to celebrate three birthdays from weeks before and weeks apart. My ading Ggie (sister from another womb) made it happen with some magic potions and gobbledegook. 

And so we met in a Chinese resto, five of us. The dim world we live in lit up. Then Ggie announced, “I invited someone but he gave me a nebulous answer. So I am not sure if he is coming.”

“Who???” 

He came! Like an apparition from the past, he handed me a funky birthday present, but not before showing us a photo in his phone, reminiscent of a teaser in an ad campaign. 

 

“Who???” No less than the well-loved-and-respected former big boss in the ad agency where we all met, “ABAJA!” 

The past became the present. Old jokes became new. Stale news became current. Seniors became juniors. The entree was laughter and dessert was more laughter. He was a birthday celebrator, too, if you include all other months of the year. The many years in between meet-ups vanished like the smoke on our birthday cake.    

Friendship does not end with time and space. Like grace, its beauty never fades and has no end.  

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 

Home Sweet Home

Home is where the heart is. But when home is not what it used to be, where will the heart go? 

Our home is 48 years old. It has aged tremendously, not only because of years but more because of new-fangled discoveries that rushed in with unstoppable speed.  

When we moved to this our first (and last) home, son #2 was newly born. There was not even a landline phone. Son #3 was just an inspired thought. 

 

Now at age 48, home has been constantly sieged by the effects of global warming: environmental changes and therefore natural disasters like rains, floods, extreme heat; and the assault of technology—cellphones, cable TV, computers, air conditioners, Internet, and all their menu sides.  

How can the heart take it all?  

If the home needs to survive, it needs immediate surgery: its wires, gutters, eaves, ceiling, roofs, paint, walls, faucets, etc. are obsolete and therefore failing and falling apart. If not saved or replaced soon, zip. 

This has been home since June.

How long before the heart goes back to Home Sweet Home? 

The contractor said, ”Before Christmas.” 

At a time like this, I could almost hear Tony, who had always been cool and down-to-earth (my polar opposite), saying in his monotone without looking up from the book he'd been reading, “Patience is a virtue.” 

The Art of Grandparenting

Many articles have been written about this topic. I read a few when I learned that I was about to become one.  

But as soon as I held my grandson, Adrian, for the first time in my arms, the “art” principles flew out of the window. I was blessed with my own, and I immediately revised that title to “The Grace of Grandparenting.” 

Among all my roles in life, the most unique is being an Amah (lola).   

For one, I am older. And with age comes wisdom of experience. The strict rules imposed in parenthood to children have gone poof! This old saying is true to the letter:  

“Becoming a grandparent is like the dessert at the end of a hearty meal.” 

It is joy and relative lack of responsibility compared to parenting. When his parents left Adrian with us for a few days, they gave us rules that he should obey. Once they were gone, Tony and I allowed Adrian to do as he pleased. “In Angkong  and Amah’s house, you don’t violate any rules. We have no rules.” 

Indeed, grandparenting is a sweet reward, a chance to enjoy the fun and love of raising children minus the discipline.      

And since I am into book writing and advocating for love of reading, I loved reading a story to Adrian. According to the US National Institute of Education, reading aloud to children is the single most important activity leading to their love of reading. 

My heart tumbles whenever I chance upon social media photos such as these—a lola reading to her grandson.

"Crying children" is the 11th book in the Oh, Mateo! series of 16 books, published by Hiyas of OMF Lit and illustrated by Beth Parrocha)

Through a story in a book, the young ones and the young once build a close and lasting relationship. 

As children begin to look at books, listen to stories, talk and think about them, and ask questions, they’re on the road to becoming readers. Adrian, now 17 years old, is a bookworm like his late Angkong Tony and everyone in our small family. 

 

Lolos and lolas, reading a book to our grandchildren is a great way to relish the grace of  grandparenting.    

What the Fuss (2)

Too little time to take my maintenance pills, take off my shoes, put up my feet, close my blurry eyes, and put new batteries in my hearing aid . . . before we hied to Oriental Palace (a Chinese restaurant) for an authentic Chinese “lauriat” (derived from the Hokkien word "lao diat," meaning "special occasion"). It was one of Tony’s favorite haunts.     

Son #3, who volunteered to foot the bill promised, “Nothing fancy, just family.” 

Family—the Chit-Chat (our Group Chat nickname for our small clan on my mother’s side)—was there ahead of us. In a true Chinese tradition on birthday celebrations, everyone, including my two-year-old grand nephew, Atom, wore red. All told, there were 13 of us (the rest live abroad).

I was ecstatic to receive a surprise gift (left) sent by my grandson Adrian from the US. He knitted “Bahas” (Baboy/Ahas), a character he created when he was 10, and which he painted. The day before, his parents (son #2 and daughter-in-love) sent yummy belly lechon and other go-withs).

My ading Aie had a photo (right) of Tony and me (enlarged and framed) when he was officially welcomed as member of the V-Clan after our wedding. He introduced himself as the King of Siam, and me, his 32nd concubine. From that day forward, all 300+ members of our V-clan called him ading, manong, uncle, tito, or lolo. 

I was likewise deluged with wrapped gifts from everyone. 

Each dish was explained by son #3, but it was Tony’s voice I heard. “This is pricey because . . . this is rare because … this is made of . . . this is cooked with . . . etc.) 

How ironic that the only person in the clan, who was a true-blue Chinese, who spoke Hookien, who grew up on these dishes and therefore knew them like the palm of his hand, could not come and was profoundly missed. 

Through 12 courses, we chatted, joked around, reminisced non-stop about the years gone by. There are no-nos on occasions such as this: you don’t flip over a whole fish dish, you don’t do “sharon,” chats happen before the first dish is served, and you leave before or immediately after dessert. 

The fish was flipped over relentlessly, we had bags and bags of “sharon,” chatted before and long, long after dessert—nearing midnight.  

July 20, 2025 was a day of fussing, of overflowing and overwhelming grace. 

Psalm 90:10 (ESV)”The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.” . . . to our eternal home where age and birthday celebrations are irrelevant.  

What the Fuss (1)

“No fuss!” I ordered my boys, knowing how people grandly celebrate an 80th birthday.   

They fussed anyway. My thought balloon, Don’t kids listen to their moms anymore? 

My other thought balloon replied, They are not kids anymore. Allow them to fuss over you for a change.

Because my birthday fell on a Sunday, I insisted, “I will spend for my own simple thanksgiving day. I will have a dirty-ice-cream cart for the kids. And I will serve lunch, on me, to those who stay for Sunday School.”

They said nothing. 

And so on my birthday, I had the dirty-ice-cream cart, which the kids (and non-kids) enjoyed, going back and forth umpteenth times for extra servings. 

The basic lunch was prepared by a faith sister, Aegan, whose kaldereta JR loves. 

Then the fussing began. Nikki, a niece from a dear friend’s womb, surprised me with an exquisite birthday cake, which invited raucous singing and, “Blow, blow, blow!” 

I requested son #3 to refrain everyone from delivering oral tributes (a tradition in grand parties), and just to give me a few minutes to speak with my heart: how Tony and I had always preferred living simply, nothing grandiose, opting to stay under the radar—pausing in silence to thank the Lord for blessing us with a day such as this. Pastor Marvin, our guest preacher, led the prayer of thanksgiving. 

I thought that would be it . . . (to be continued) 

Note self: 

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV)

Mary Grace Strikes Again

Ranting and raving are not my thing. They sap every energy from mind, heart, and body.  And yet, I dove into them last year. 

It’s all about Mary Grace, the name that was being rammed down my throat by the municipal officials of the place of my birth. So I did all I could to have it changed, following the baton of my ading Dave who led the documentation of whatever is left of our parents’ properties. 

End of a nightmare. 

But the senior citizens’ league of our Barangay wants to see the PSA of my birth certificate if I am to receive the benefits of seasoned (euphemism for old) retirees. So I went, requested, and paid for PSA of my birth records. 

Lo and behold! It’s still Mary Grace?! 

Ranting and raving came back with a vengeance. So I berate my ading Dave on our group chat. Immediately, my ading Matt reply with laughing emojis. “Read,” he and Dave command. So I read again, and sure enough at the bottom of the document are these words. 

Let me repeat those words for my benefit: the child’s first name is hereby changed from “Mary Grace” to “Grace.” 

I crawled under my computer chair. How can a reading advocate (“Writing has a twin,” I stress in  my book talks: “Reading!) not read?! 

Rubbing salt into the wound, Dave writes, “Retired proofreader.”